I am dedicating my first post to Jie who created audreyist.com for me on my birthday.

I just wanted to thank you for:

• bringing me into this world by begging for a younger sister.
• making sure I never wasted food by digging up my unfinished toast that I so sneakily buried in the trashcan under piles of used tissues and then forcing me to eat a whole new slice of bread.
• acting as my personal body guard by blocking the entire McDonalds line with stretched-out 5-year-old arms to make sure no one stepped on me.
• introducing me to photography at the early age of 4 by forcing me to pose for hours as a hideous gopher with protruding teeth.
• turning me into a slob after giving me the honor of safekeeping 3 garbage bags of trash you disposed of from your own room.
• teaching me the smarts and important skills of each life stage in order to compensate for squishing my head and killing my brain cells at an early age.
• telling me how the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in high school was cry about grades…so I laughed when I scored a 48% on my bio test and ended up with a B in that class.

But despite it all, you would always change my diaper at the end of the day and keep me content, even if it meant sticking a finger in my mouth after picking your nose with it.

I win at cheesiness.